Carpe that Tunnel

Let's just say that I have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome...in both hands...and I'm sick of it. And I can hardly wait for the phone to ring. It might be the orthopaedist's office calling to award me a date on the surgeon's calendar. Surgery might not be high on everyone's wish list, but it is absolutely on the top of mine. So high that I'm thinking of having a Surgery Appointment Party to be followed sometime thereafter with an Oh-My-Gosh-I-Can-Actually-Feel-My-Fingers Party. So while I'm dreaming of that wished-for phone call, I thought I'd memorialize the past three endless months of CTS.


Top Ten Things That I Can't Do With Carpal Tunnel Syndrome (in no particular order or importance:

1. Get my beloved topaz ring back on my finger.


2. Sleep through the night without waking up.


3. Keyboard without a zillion backspaces.


4. Open jars or bottles of milk, Juice Squeeze, diet Mtn. Dew, sauerkraut, jam, peanut butter, or--well, you get the idea--unless it's already been loosened for me.


5. Put in my earrings.


6. Button my own buttons.


7. Hold the latest Harry Potter novel.


8. Snap my fingers.


9. Throw the puppy's frisbee.


10. Stroke my sweetie's face.

Yeah, CTS sucks. Big Time. Now if only the phone would ring...